I work with couples who are seeking relationship supporT

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When working with couples, I  use the Emotionally Focused Couples  therapeutic method. This is a brief (up to 25 sessions) model that integrates attachment theory with systemic and humanistic approaches.  

This mode of therapy creates a more secure emotional bond, more relationship satisfaction, intimacy, trust and a general sense of feeling secure with a partner. 

Having a secure attachment is good for our mental health and wellbeing. It can boost our self esteem, tolerance, resilience and an ability to relate to others. In our work together, you will start to recognise how you react to each other, and how your reactive behaviours trigger attachment fears in each other.  

In our work together, I will observe how each of you process your experience. particularly your emotional responses.  We will create a visual model of your relationship and work in  a way that encourages you to move from isolation to re connection. 

There are 4 steps to the  EFT for Couples Model .

In Stage 1 

We work together to deescalate the negative cycle that you are in. We then progress to an understanding of what positions each of you take in the cycle.

Then, we work on understanding the deeper  core emotions and how they link with your attachment experiences

In Stage 2 

We work together to restructure your emotional bond. Understanding why each of you took the positions that  you're in. We create new interactions that create safety, acceptance  and security between partners. 

In Stage 3 

We consolidate what has been learnt  so that partners can safelt solve problems and cope with differences.  

A common interactional pattern for couples is that one partner takes a withdrawer stance and the other partner is a pursuer.

During the therapeutic process, the withdrawer becomes more engaged and active in the relationship and re-engaging while the pursuer becomes more able to soften and express their needs.